


In the Lonely Hour

by soldatssassenach



Category: Batman (Comics), Jason Todd - Fandom, Red Hood - Fandom, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a Sam Smith Song, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jason Todd Angst, Jason todd fluff, Mild Smut, Somewhat Songfic, Songfic, more like, mostly just fluff and angst, some smut but not explicitly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 10:45:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17058332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldatssassenach/pseuds/soldatssassenach
Summary: In which Jason Todd reflects on his relationship with you.





	1. Stay With Me

Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one night stand,   
But I still need love ‘cause I’m just a man.  
These nights never seem to go to plan,   
I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand? 

Was it in fact a one-night stand? This had been the-er well, he’d lost count ages ago-umpteenth time he’d been with her. All spread out. Never the same nights in a row. He’d kept his distance much as he could. The lifestyle of an outlaw helped see to it. 

But sometimes all it’d take was a waft of a floral or spice in the air, caressing his sense of smell that he’d be reminded of you. And everything that’d come with it. The way you welcomed him each time. Arms open. Heart ready. Warm. Pliant to the will of his hands on her body. Never asking a question why or how. 

And now here he’d been, the moon illuminating the dark room as you slept on your side, curled into a ball with your back facing him. He’d been grateful for the fact that you didn’t know much about his other nightly proclivities. But you were a smart one, he’d known that much. She’d seen so much of him, intimately. Where his scars, both physical and emotional could not hide. Not from her at least. Hell, the one time he tried lying to her about the reason, he even tried using a pathetic lie from his good ole’ “dad”. 

“Cave diving,” he smirked. And now he smirked again at the memory. 

“Do you run into a lot of gunfire in these caves Jay?” She deadpanned, not buying into his bullshit for a second. “If you can’t or don’t want to tell me just yet, fine. But…don’t expect me to open my legs for you if you’re gonna think of me as an idiot Todd. We clear?” 

He’d been hers, from that moment. Even if they could never have that white picket fence and apple pie for dessert with two little rugrats, a Lassie dog and a milkman. But whatever they’d been, he’d been hers. Until fate or worse decided to tear them apart. 

Oh won’t you stay with me?   
‘Cause you’re all I need.   
This ain’t love, it’s clear to see.   
But darling stay with me. 

For now though, Jason pushed away all thoughts of the ticking clock in his head telling him he’d have to start getting ready to leave again. And he settled for turning onto his side to scoot closer to you. With pressing his chest flush to your back, he wrapped his arm around your waist as you instinctively left no space between your pelvises, your bum folded neatly into his front. In your sleep you felt his strong heavy arm draped across your stomach, and you instantly let your hand blanket over his. Your fingers fit into the spaces between his own worn and calloused hands, a sensation that set his complacently beating heart into a stirring frenzy, relishing the feel of your soft hands in his. That such soft hands would not only welcome but protect his own hands. Hands that have been washed with grime and blood. Even death. Just like the Pits that drove him into a madness upon his rebirth, your soft hands drove his dormant heart into a similar madness when you interlaced your fingers into his, curling them into a tight coil. He may have been the one to have bring you into his embrace, but your soft hands locked him in place. 

Why am I so emotional?   
No it’s not a good look, gain some self control.   
And deep down I know this never works.   
But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt. 

Gain some self-control for fuck’s sake Todd, he thought as much to himself. Brushing the wisps of hair away the nape of your neck, Jason drove his hips harder into you as you slept, pressing warm and pursed lips into the crook of your neck, eventually settling onto the lobe of your ear. He could hear you stir in your sleep, finally rousing from your sleep to look up at him. 

“Hey you,” you sleepily murmured. “You okay?” 

“Yeah babe, I’m great,” he whispered, wanting to believe those two little words more than anything. 

Keeping his face buried in the column of your throat, Jason began driving his hips in earnest, letting little grunts escape his throat. You leaned into his touch, bringing your arm to wrap around his neck, your fingers finding refuge in the wisps of his soft black hair as he drove into you. You weren’t quiet, giving into tired but hearty breaths and weak moans. Every now and then you let his name fall on your lips, and he met in kind with peppering your skin with enthusiastic kisses. It took no time to find each of your own releases, but neither one of you dared to move. Somehow you knew Jason wasn’t going to look directly at you. This hadn’t been a first time occurrence. And by now, it was your own little dance that the two of you had perfected. When the cadence of his breath returned to normal, you broke away to give yourself some space to turn around. Hiding your face in his hard chest, you kissed the glossy sheen of sweat on his sinewy form, protectively hugging him as he brought you closer. 

Oh you won’t you stay with me?   
‘Cause you’re all I need.  
This ain’t love it’s clear to see.  
But darling, stay with me. 

“How much time do we have left?” You asked. 

“What?” Jason asked. 

“I said,” you pulled away from his chest. “How much do we have left? Before you leave…” 

“Let me worry about that,” Jason murmured. 

A soft smile that didn’t meet your eyes tugged the corners of your lips. “That wasn’t our deal Todd. Don’t treat me like an idiot.” 

“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to. I just… don’t want you to worry.” 

“Well I’m gonna worry no matter what. Might as well worry informed,” you teased. When Jason smiled, but stayed quiet, you reached up and wrapped your hand around his neck. “You could always stay, you know. I know this isn’t exactly The Four Seasons or Wayne Manor. But you could be comfortable here, if you wanted.” 

“Y/N…”

“Stay with me Jason.”


	2. Lay Me Down

“You could always stay, you know. I know this isn’t exactly The Four Seasons or Wayne Manor…” 

It isn’t. It’s much better, Jason thought. “Y/N…” 

“Stay with me Jason.” 

And there it’d been. Until fate or worse decided to tear them apart. True, they’d never had the eponymous talk regarding whatever their relationship was. Though he naturally assumed. All his comings and goings. Vague answers about the specifics. Unwittingly meeting one of her friends when they stopped by the apartment. Y/N had been in the shower and he’d just been lounging in his boxers surfing through the channels when the friend barged in. That one time they were out getting dinner at their favorite Chinese take-out place, and they ran into Dick & Wally. They never declared themselves a couple. But…

“Jason,” she repeated, her voice bringing him back to the present. “I’m not asking you to marry me Todd. I mean, I’m just saying, isn’t it easier to stay? Less hassle?” 

“Well yeah,” Jason murmured. And no, he kept to himself. “Look Y/N,” he began to continue when the obnoxious beeping from his phone pushed through to interrupt him. He knew that alarm. Bruce. “We’ll finish this conversation later.” 

Not that he’d let Bruce normally dictate every facet of his life. But Y/N was special. And the less Bruce knew about her, if he could help it, then he would. Or hell, maybe the old man did already know about Y/N. But Jason would be damned if he gave him any cause to look for Jason with her if he ignored that message. And with that, Jason dragged himself from the warmth of her embrace and out of bed. Scrambling in the dark to find his clothes, he laid one departing kiss to Y/N’s lips before leaving, choosing to ignore the glint from a trickled tear that had cascaded down her cheek. 

Yes I do, I believe  
That one day I will be, where I was  
Right there, right next to you  
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark  
The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you  
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?

Pretty open and shut case as far as patrol nights had gone for him. He thought of going back to Y/N’s once the assignment had ended. He promised, er, well, sort of. But if he were being honest with himself, perhaps it’d been for the best that he wouldn’t. Just yet. Or maybe ever. 

Or so he told himself, in the beginning. 

No words can explain, the way I’m missing you  
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside  
These tears, they tell their own story

Could there be a life together with Y/N? He’d never given it much thought before having met her. Until fate or worse decided to tear them apart. True, love-or whatever it is wasn’t necessarily worse. But, he was. For her own protection. He could never forgive himself or recover from his already crumbling self worth if anything had happened to her. 

It’d already been a slow day of “work” when the ticking clock drove him up the wall. Getting out, he headed for your place, having every intention to end things. Just as it was supposed to be. 

“Tell Y/N hi for me will ya?” Roy muttered from the couch. 

“What?” Jason asked, the keys missing his pocket, dropping unceremoniously onto the floor. 

“That’s where you’re going, right? To see your girlfriend.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend Roy.” 

“You forget I crash here, right. You talk in your sleep. A lot. Y/N’s name comes up. Among other noises associated with her name. Happy noises. I’m talking se-,”

“Utter one more syllable and I’ll shove that propellor arrow up your acne covered ass.” 

~*~*~

He practiced the speech in his head so many times. It had to end. Getting close within her neighborhood, Jason looked up in time to see the light hit the color of your hair. Across the park from where he’d been, he saw you perusing the aisles of your neighborhood grocery store. 

Don’t do it you dumbass, he told himself. Don’t, don’t… he told himself. Until, his foot stepped forward. And then the next one. Soon he found himself in the grocery store, a couple steps behind you. He watched as you reached for the essentials. There’d been that one cereal he said he liked. And those cookies he was a sucker for. Was…was Y/N shopping for him? Hell, he even got impressed when he saw you grab for his favorite single malt Scotch instead of your usual pink Moscato. 

You told me not to cry when you were gone  
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it's much too strong  
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you  
And make sure you’re alright  
I’ll take care of you,  
And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight  
I’m reaching out to you  
Can you hear my call   
This hurt that I’ve been through  
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy

I’m always going to worry Jay. Might as well worry informed, she said. And there’d been the truth of it. Even if he wanted to (and he didn’t) end things with Y/N, she’d become so a part of him. That even if things had ended, there was always going to be a part of her that had become a part of him. He was always going to worry about her. Might as well worry informed. 

He heard her laugh when he looked around, spotting her standing in front of the free samples of prosciutto rolls. How he missed making her laugh like that. It’d been days, and he already hated how much he went without hearing that laugh. When had her laugh, her touch, the way her eyes lit up the room when she smiled gotten so deep under his skin? When the fuck had he allowed that to happen? 

Y/N’s face scrunched up with delight as her face became alit wit joy. Y/N always laughed with such vigor when she found something truly funny. He’d only seen it one other time, and he allowed himself a small beam of pride when he recalled he’d been the one to do it. Although now here she was, laughing the way he adored it, and he wasn’t the one to do it. And it’d hit him like a bolt of lightning. 

He missed her. A lot. 

“Jason?” Y/N called out when she’d spotted him. The best he could come up with to describe the look on her face was cautious optimism. A tense smile that hadn’t quite reached her eyes, yet she approached him still. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well, this is a grocery store.”

“You have no groceries though,” she murmured, allowing herself a small smile. 

“I do. They’re just in my pockets,” he replied nonchalantly. 

“You have groceries in your pockets?” She asked, incredulous as she eyed the pockets of his zip-up hoodie. 

“Well goodness gracious, I guess the jig is up,” Jason said. 

And much to his reluctant delight, he smiled at the beginnings of her little laugh. 

Can I lay by your side, next to you, to you  
And make sure you’re alright?  
I’ll take care of you,  
And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

“So, umm… you think I’d be okay if I stayed in a place that isn’t The Four Seasons? Or Wayne Manor?” He asked, his voice suddenly growing gruff with nerves as his gaze followed his shoes, his body held tensely as he awaited her reply. 

Abandoning her shopping cart, Y/N approached Jason and tentatively grazed her fingers along his jaw. “Help me finish these groceries and we’ll get you set up in your new chateau,” she winked. 

Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side  
Lay me down tonight  
Lay me by your side  
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you

 

“Sounds good,” he softly murmured, standing beside her as they both began to push the shopping cart.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for @avengersandlovers back when I was on Tumblr and she hosted a writing challenge. The title refers to a Sam Smith album, and while originally intended to be a one shot, it turned into a two-parter lol. Oops


End file.
